


Four People with Penises that Aaron Hotchner Would Probably Have (Had) Sex With (and One that He Did Have Sex With)

by siggen1



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Closeted Character, M/M, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-13
Updated: 2013-02-13
Packaged: 2017-11-29 03:48:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/682401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siggen1/pseuds/siggen1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The title, I think, says it all. Far more somber than the title would suggest, though.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Four People with Penises that Aaron Hotchner Would Probably Have (Had) Sex With (and One that He Did Have Sex With)

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on LJ in 2010, reposted for the sake of having a one-stop archive of my fic. 
> 
> Yeah, no, I don't make up a title like that one on my own. This is a result of a request I put out for "Five Things"-prompts aaaaaaaaaaages ago, and this is what the mean and also wonderful amazonqueenkate came up with. I'm sure she envisioned something else.

I. Peter Vaskijevich was Aaron’s best friend at thirteen. He’d come with his family as defectors from some bleak Soviet Republic for a new life in the States. Peter didn’t like to talk about his past, but it created a quiet air of sadness about him that would, a few years later (and coupled with the rumors that the family was _filthy_ rich), attract girls to him like moths to a flame. Now, though, he was thirteen and had that sense of sadness in common with Aaron. They could spend endless hours by the Potomac, watching the river, hardly ever needing to talk, because there was that connection between them, a spark. Peter would smile at Aaron, and time would stand still. He was the first person Aaron fell in love with, but _gay_ was a dirty word in Belle Haven and seriously, it just wasn’t going to happen. Aaron’s met Peter at a couple of high school reunions. He is a litigator now, in San Diego. He’s gotten older, like Aaron, and is an ex-husband and a father, like Aaron. There’s still a spark there, and given the right set of circumstances, Aaron thinks that maybe he really would. 

II. Aaron’s college roommate was called Zachary, and gave Aaron his nickname. Zachary was a frighteningly smart Jewish kid who majored both in physics and maths. He partied hard and studied as little as possible, but still seemed to ace every test. He had too many friends for Aaron to learn all their names, but in their sophomore year he started spending more and more nights in the dorm with Aaron anyway. He was the closest friend Aaron had ever had, and they talked non-stop. Sometimes, Aaron would wonder if maybe, maybe, and then he’d remember Haley and that he loved her and wanted to be with her, and that Zach, attractive though he was, wasn’t Haley. Zach was exciting, but Haley was home, and she was where he needed to be. Thinking back, Aaron sometimes wonder if Haley really was the reason he never allowed himself to be seduced by Zach, or if she was just a convenient excuse. He remembers clearly that he was in love with Zach. He also remembers the guy he used to be in college, and wonders if maybe Zach fell victim to Aaron’s arrogance and ambitions. A Senator needs the perfect family, right?

III. Dean was his assistant in the DA’s office. Young, fresh-faced, but with knowing eyes and a knack for biting sarcasm, he became one of Aaron’s best friends. They spent a lot of long nights holed up in Aaron’s office prepping cases, eating terrible Chinese food. They also spent some long nights in the bar two blocks down from the office, drinking their way through an extensive list of foreign beers and charting how different their lives had been. “We really shouldn’t be getting along as well as we do,” Dean said once, “but I really like you, Hotch.” Aaron smiled back over the edge of his fifth? sixth? bottle of beer, and wondered what would happen if he leaned over and kissed Dean. He didn’t lean over and kiss him, of course. He paid for the beer and went home. The next night, while they were prepping the Horton case, Dean leaned over the files on Aaron’s desk and kissed him. When he pulled back, Aaron opened his mouth to say something. He wanted to say “more”, “please”, “again”, but nothing came. Finally, he looked away, and said the only thing he could: “Sorry.” Dean quit the next day. 

IV. Morgan. There are a million reasons that won’t happen. Ever. 

V. Jason Gideon. And he did. Jason always demanded more than Aaron felt entirely comfortable giving, in every area, so the invite into his bed didn’t feel as outrageous as it probably should, especially given that Aaron and Haley were - at long last - talking seriously about marriage. He went with it, allowed Jason to teach him the wheres and hows. He allowed himself to be flung around when Jason wanted it rough. He allowed Jason to hold him in a deceptively careful embrace. It happened a handful of times, and every time, it left Aaron feeling used and dirty. Still, it was... It was a whole new world. All those things he’d been scared of were suddenly at his feet, at what seemed like no risk at all. It was exciting in ways that that Aaron still can’t quite articulate. He can’t explain the mixture of deep, profound shame and burning desire he still feels thinking back. He knows that strictly speaking, what happened between him and Jason wasn’t quite consensual. He knows he could be called a victim. Still, if Jason showed up on his doorstep tomorrow - even after everything - and kissed him in that way of his -- Aaron still would.


End file.
